Tie The Knot

Hey y’all

So there are a few things I have come to realize as a 24yr old African female graduate and I will like to share with you. As an African female no matter where you find yourself, there’s a stigma of being married once you’re done with school and don’t get me wrong I personally think marriage is good but I also think if its not the right time and the right person don’t you dare get into it.

• 1. Regret- Marriage isn’t meant to be a ’till you’re tired of each other’ thing. Marriage is a life time commitment. You don’t go into it because you think you can get out of it, when you can’t handle it anymore. So go into it without having regrets, go into it being sure of where you stand in the long run. If you’re going to regret it, then don’t do it. Save someone the stress of future unnecessary arguments, bitterness, anger and hurt.
• 2. Pressure- You can be pressured into marriage, by society and even by yourself to attain everything by a certain age but take a step back and really look at the entirety of the situation. After the wedding everyone including your parents and your friends go home and you head home to your marriage. Can you handle it? Can you two support each other ? Can you say you can help each other, achieve each others dreams? If yes oh then by all means do it. But don’t ever feel pressured into something you are not ready for.
• 3. Age – I don’t think theres a time frame to be married but I also think marrying young is  a good thing. Comes with both spiritual and physical benefits. So by all means if you’ve met the right person with the right conditions then hell yeah go for it and run with it. But don’t think you’re too young to marry or you’re getting too old so you need to just settle for marriage.

I am not against marriage at all but what I am against are  the misconceptions we have about females entering into marriage right after school. In a typical African setting, all you hear is ‘when are you getting married’ ? And its coming from a good place I believe but I also believe that there are dreams to be achieved and realized. Sometimes the one you love may not be the person to realize those dreams with. Then by all means don’t get into it. Yes it may hurt but it will be for that moment and well sometime after that. At that moment it could feel like the most terrible thing to ever happen but look into the future you want for yourself and the future they want for themselves.

Are your dreams similar? Do you have the same goals? Do you have the same principles? Do you want to live in the same country? Are you okay being married to someone from their background? Do you have the support system you need in them?

And note to self even when the truth hits you in the face it will be hard to accept it because obviously you want love to win but does it? Love is not enough for marriage to work! Its not I really wish it was. Then a lot of people will be married or will stay married. In the USA alone, about  50% of marriages have been predicted to end in divorce. I don’t think that was the goal when they got married. Most people wouldn’t have predicted their love for each other not holding them down.

You’ve been the one to answer all my prayers
Anytime I need You, I know that You’ll be there
‘Cause no one could ever love me like You could
I’m hoping that you’ll hear these prayers of mine
I’m hoping that we’ll be together for all times
‘Cause no one could ever love me like You could

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/cecewinans/noone.html

The above is from a Cece Winas song “Noone”.

From the lyrics I came to realization of how God is the only one who can meet all the criteria we search for in someone to love. So don’t be unrealistic. Just thought i would share my view. Hey, we are not obligated to have the same views after all. xox

Divorce Sats-  http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/