DEPRESSION

Hey lovelies,

Today I want to talk about depression. It’s obviously not a fun topic or subject to address but it’s been on my mind for some time now so here goes.

There are several people going through a tough time but everyone sort of wants to be a hero or wants to fight their battles on their own. I have been through it so I know, let’s see if I can help you in any way.

First tip I would give anyone reading this is “listen to people when they tell you they’re depressed”. It takes guts for someone to open up to you. Don’t take it lightly at all, because I doubt they will be willing to open up to you ever again or to anyone as a matter of fact. People treat mental health with such disdain and then wonder why it results in suicidal acts.

Now my experience with depression wasn’t a pretty one and I personally wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Look at this through my eyes and I hope and pray you understand where I am coming from. My world basically felt dark, I was numb to every type of emotion. I was basically a living zombie. My routine was to wake up and do what was expected of me , then I would go back to my hole(room). I avoided everyone which wasn’t such a big deal at the time till it became a norm. I had a way to smile with everyone and make everyone think everything was okay when in fact I felt so heavy and numb. You see, following a routine has a way of masking unhappiness, bitterness, anger, insufficiencies and every other emotion. The most anyone expects from you is to show up, smile and get to work. Thats it really. SO anyway, I kept every problem and hardship to myself, because in my mind no one could help and all they could do was mock me and make me feel inadequate and I definitely didn’t need that. I had suicidal thoughts and had to fight to stay alive or even have the will to want this life.

Things changed for me when I decided to open up about what I was going through. I had friends watching me and making sure I was alright. When I went missing for some time ,they would go around looking for me and making sure I was okay. They weren’t overbearing but they made their presence and love felt. The night I decided to take my life, they came found me and took me home. I tell you it was by grace because I went out of my way to not be found but I was found. My pastor’s podcast was played and I felt better. No the depression didn’t leave all together but I felt needed and I had to find a way to fight the suicidal thoughts.

The cause of depression is different for everyone and the time it takes to heal is also different for everyone. The first step to solving depression is acknowledging you are depressed and that you need help. Being open about your battles doesn’t make you weak but rather means you’re strong. No, I am not exaggerating, acknowledging you need help takes gut and you need strength to have guts

Secondly, find something that brings you joy. I enjoyed listening to Dag Heward-Mills podcast. Mostly it played on the background and I just went around minding my business. Music was a constant joy to me as well. Oh the food I ate! I ate everything I wanted when I wanted. After all whats the use of looking snatched if your soul wasn’t happy but just bare in mind you’ll have to work out to drop them kilos later. lol, I really had no regrets then. I watched a lot of anime (naruto,onepiece,fairytail,etc) because it makes me happy. Thirdly, give yourself time to heal. You’re not a robot. You need to take your time and heal for as long as you need it. Do not feel pressured to be okay quickly, it’s your race and not anyone’s. You decide when the race starts and when you take a break. Read a book, look at life from a different perspective. I read my bible more because of the different stories found in it. Pick a book YOU love.

If you still feel broken, get professional help, get a therapist, allow yourself to blab to a total stranger if that’s what will help. I blabbed to my pastor a lot. He became my personal therapist. Lastly, allow yourself to be happy. Whatever happened doesn’t define you. You have the power to open a new chapter. Do not allow your mind trick you into more negativity. There really are new beginnings, new opportunities and new chapters ready to be read and lived by you.

It’s a new year and thats why I chose to start with this article. Start the year with positivity because you can. I encourage you to be positive. Remember you’re not alone and there are people waiting to meet you in the future and present. Don’t let negative thoughts get the best of you. If you know anyone who’s depressed check on them, if you have a friend who’s been missing for a while now or hasn’t been themselves lately check on them. Everyone is fighting a secret battle we know nothing about. I wish you a happy new year filled with victories over every negativity, I wish you a year filled with new chances and chapters in life. I wish you a year filled with love and happiness. Looking forward to an amazing year as a unit.xo