StAy CoMpLaCeNt???

C.S Lewis once said, “Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?”

I never understood that quote as I do now. Every day when I awake, I see nothing changing. I feel like the same Christian, with the same fire, the same sarcastic yet shy individual I’ve always been.

BUT, a conversation with a friend a few days ago made me realize…it wasn’t so.

I am not who I was five years ago, my interests, my conversations, my friends, everything has changed; some for the best, others…not so much. I am not as smart as I thought but then again, is anyone ever?

I believe that this season of SIP (Season of Intense Prayer), has opened my eyes to things. I’ve had dreams, I’ve had tears. I’ve had nights of solitude and I’ve had laughs. There are so many dreams I want to accomplish, yet I see myself failing to. So many aspirations and dreams…unfulfilled. My pastor once said, “Sometimes you don’t get what you want because you’re not angry enough.”

I wondered “What do you mean?” I’m angry about what I’m going through and my incapability to change anything I love, so what do you mean I am not angry enough?

Then he said, “You have accepted certain situations as how it will always be. Content with an average and complacent life.” Then it hit me, I have no drive to move ahead… I just want to try a little here, a little there and just see if I like it. And for a season I’m in love with that idea…that dream, but then I want nothing to do with it after a season. I don’t want to ever become more than average, I want to know just enough to pass by, enough to get an A in class, enough to impress those around but this “little-here-little-there” is hurting my soul because I feel like I’m never good enough.

So this year, I have decided to take it upon myself, to do new things, to walk new journies and to hopefully move away from this mind of complacency and average is all I’ll ever achieve.

2018 will be a year to step out of my comfort zone and try things I never have:

Go bald at least once
Learn to swim
Wake up early

These will be some of the few. To some, it may seem ridiculous, but my ability to take these first few steps might result in me doing something greater, and I can’t wait to find out what it will be.

Signed,

WillowWoods